Today’s topic: Literally

Admit it. This is one you’ve probably used in the last 48 hours or so.

“I’m so hungry, I could literally eat a horse.”
“I’m so angry I could explode–literally.”

When you use the word literally, you are stating that you mean exactly what you are saying with no exaggeration, metaphor or hyperbole. It means that until you have eaten an entire horse, you will not be full, and you’re at serious risk of spontaneous detonation.

The solution for this problem is simple: never use the word “literally.”

Here are two reasons you should never use it:

• If you use it improperly, you are lying AND sounding stupid. Those are two things we can do without.

  “It is raining cats and dogs, literally!”

  Are cats and dogs really falling from the sky? Or are you just an idiot?

• If you use it properly, you’re saying that you meant what you said.

  “I am literally in love with you!”

  So if you mean what you say, just say it and mean it. Don’t qualify it. If you’re a person of your word, which we all should be, people will believe you when you talk.

I like to pick on phrases and words, but I will rarely suggest that one is thrown out. But I really think this is a word we could do without.

Toss literally. No one will miss it.

Link: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/

One thing you won't find much of on How To Talk Good is advice about grammar. Ideally, I could assume that everyone knows grammar rules. I mean, they start teaching that stuff in 2nd grade.

For those who didn't pay attention in 2nd grade (or 3rd or 4th or 5th…) there is an answer.

Grammar Girl runs a great website with to-the-point articles and podcasts that are a lot of fun. Not only does she give useful, simple tips on improving grammar, she does it without making you feel like a moron for not knowing the difference between lay and lie.

A review of:
Why Business People Speak Like Idiots: A Bullfighter's Guide by Brian Fugere, Chelsea Hardaway, Jon Warshawsky

I was only five pages into this book before I started walking around my office showing sections to co-workers. It was such a sigh of relief to know that there are people out there fighting the good fight! They’re helping people talk like people, not like business school robots.

This book examines the 4 traps to effective business communication and gives simple ways to avoid them. Here’s a brief and admittedly shallow overview:

• The Obscurity Trap: Jargon, empty words, catch phrases, and all sorts of useless things are exposed and straight condemned.
• The Anonymity Trap: Are you a perfectionist? Do you love templates? Do you hate seeing people smile at work, especially in meetings? If you said yes to any or all of these, you are an idiot. Cut it out.
• The Hard-Sell Trap: You know how everyone hates infomercials and car salesman? Enough said.
• The Tedium Trap: How to get out of your own head and into the head of your audience. How to talk like a real live person with feelings, impulses, desires and everything! Basically, how to keep people from hating you and your meetings.

This book gives no nonsense, no holds barred advice that seems to stem from real world experience—one of the authors even admits to being a former “idiot.”

This is the kind of book that I’d like to see in the hands of every executive across the country. But until then, Bull-Spotters can read, have a laugh and commiserate.

Order a copy here or read the first section for free here.

It’s really hard to decide where to start a blog like this. With so many things wrong with business communication, how do you pick a phrase to be the first to be dissected?

Randomly. That’s how.

Today’s topic is: Utilize

This is a good place to start and here’s why:

• It’s a word that is completely acceptable.
• It is a word that is usually used properly.
• It is a word that is so over-used that we have made it a part of the common corporate tongue.
• It is a word that can be replaced in nearly every instance with something much simpler.

By definition, the word “utilize” means “to put to use” as in:

“We should utilize all of our available assets to neutralize this threat.”

Is there anything wrong with that sentence? Probably not–especially if you’re speaking before Congress or barking orders from your seat on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

We say the word “utilize” because it makes whatever you’re doing sound more important whether it is or not.

“He wasn’t able to utilize renewable energy sources.”
“Utilize the spellcheck every now and then, idoit.”
“If I don’t utilize the restroom soon, we’ll all be sorry.”

How about “Use.” Why don’t we all stop utilizing things, and just start using them? Sure it may not sound as smart as “utilize” but it conveys the exact same idea, and does so simply.

This is what we’re going for; business communication that is simple and that gets the job done. So stop utilizing and start using. It’s a good place to start.