Today’s topic: Outside the box

It all started in 1914 with a nine-dot puzzle. In the 70s and 80s it became an elitists' way of making job applicants feel like dirt. Since then it has turned into one of the most over-used, content-free catch phrases of our time.

The next time someone tells you that you need to think outside of the box, ask what that means. There’s a good chance that the initial response will be some stammering, a blank stare, or a frustrated turn-and-walk-away.

When this phrase is used, it often means one or more of the following:

• Don’t think the way you usually think
• Find a unique solution to the problem
• Be creative
• Do something unexpected

These are all GREAT ideas. But there are 2 big problems with this phrase.

Problem 1:

Face it, folks: saying “think outside the box” does not require thinking outside the box. So try to think of new ways to convey your desire for uniqueness. I’d give a few suggestions, but that would make it too easy for you.

Problem 2:

You shouldn’t have to tell people to be innovators. If an employee is always approaching you with concerns about problems he faces and you constantly have to tell him to find a way around the problem, you might want to start looking for a replacement.

Innovation and creativity aren’t things you can tell people to do, they are traits that they either possess or lack.

So give this phrase a rest. Maybe in 150 years or so no one will remember what it means. But until then, get back in the box.

The big problem: we spend too much time talking to the people in our offices. Of course, we can't stop talking to our co-workers—so what do we do?

To get a better understanding of communication, we need to spend more time genuinely communicating. When we spend all day staring at the same 5 or 10 or 50 people in our corner of the office, it’s easy to hear and not listen or to speak without saying anything.

Imagine a person with no knowledge of the English language. If this person were to find himself in southern Alabama, he would come to learn English, but it would be just one of a thousand brands of it. The same thing would happen if this guy only learned the English spoken in the north woods of Minnesota.

To understand the English language as a whole, you'd need to hear how it was spoken all over North America, Europe, and other parts of the world.

So if we want to understand how to communicate with the people in our small corner of the world, we need to experience communication in as many forms as we can.

When you take your car to get worked on, chat with the guy at the front desk. And don't just chat about the problems with your car, but about normal, human things. When you get your morning coffee, see if you can make a connection with the barista. If a plumber comes to fix a leak, ask him what he thinks about the latest news.

Often we think that these kinds of people exist only to fulfill their duty toward us and get out of the way. But if we will slow down, engage the people we come across, we’ll find that we get better and better at communicating.

So, how does this help corporate communication?

When we talk to people inside of our business world, it’s easy to rely on the unique, internal language that we're used to. So when you talk to people outside of your small world, you can't demand that people conform to your language. You get to create a new one.

Don't ask the girl at Starbucks about core competencies or tell the plumber that his work is synergized. That will get you socked in the mouth, or at least ignored.

Start talking to people with clear, interesting language. You will become a person who is easy to listen to, easy to talk to, and easy to communicate with. If it becomes how you communicate away from the office, soon enough you'll communicate like that at the office, too.

So the problem often isn’t what we say, it’s the limited number of people we say things to. Get out of the circle of peers you see most often and see if people who know nothing about you can understand the way you communicate. It will make you a friendlier person, and it will help you start talking like a human being, not a walking job title.

People are the key. They’re who we communicate with; so communicate with more of them.

Today’s topic: Suffice it to say…

This is one of my favorites. Every time I hear this one used, I chuckle to myself. Here’s an example of it being used that will probably sound very familiar.

“With increased expenditures for research and development and a sharp downturn in the effectiveness of our marketing team, the liquidity of our organization has been a cause of concern. Due to the strength of the dollar, the tumultuous state of the economy and the unfortunate departure of many of our top-level executives, we will begin the process of regaining a strong hold in our markets.

Suffice it to say, it’s been a tough year.”

Using this phrase is the speaker’s way of admitting that everything he’s said to this point was utterly worthless and what he’s about to say is the only thing actually worth listening to.

I love hearing this phrase because it is usually unscripted, and it shows you just a glimpse of the person beneath the job title. For just a moment, the all-important executive breaks character and lets you in on a real, no frills message.

The best solution for this is very simple: start your message with the “suffice it to say” part, and then go into the details. In journalism, this kind of communicating is called the “inverted pyramid.”

Using the Inverted Pyramid

1. Start with the information they MUST have for your communication to be successful.
2. Give information that is helpful but not crucial.
3. Finish with information that is nice to know, but not as important.

Your meetings will seem much more interesting if they start with a line that sums up everything you have to say. If you try to string people along and give them a big surprise at the end, by the time you get there, most people won’t be listening anymore.

So start with the biggest information. Get your information across before everyone tunes out.

Today's topic: "In my opinion…"

But not just "in my opinion." On the block today are "the way I see it," "in my head," "to me," "from my perspective," and anything else vaguely resembling these phrases. They are often used as nothing more than vocal pauses—a chance to say something meaningless to use a second or two to gather a string of thoughts. But that doesn't make it right.

You've been in meetings like this before. It's a round table discussion and you're brainstorming your division's next great idea. Everyone is contributing and the creative juices are really flowing. But that one guy, usually his name is Tad or something like that, he just sits there quietly taking it all in. Your manager notices that he's not had any input.

“Tad, what do you think?”
“Well...in MY opinion...”

Really Tad? You've giving us your opinion? We figured that you'd give us the opinion of someone else.

If someone asks us a question and we answer, aren't we usually giving our own opinion? So why do we often start sentences by saying, "in MY opinion…" as if our listeners might think we have suddenly begun channeling another entity? Of course it's your opinion. Why else would you be talking?

Now this doesn't apply when you're telling "he said she said" stories or when you're giving the opinions of multiple people–that's why we need these phrases. But business related conversations mostly involve sharing our own thoughts. So these kinds of phrases are usually unnecessary.

Now, I'm not suggesting that we throw these phrases out. And, by all means, clarify when you need to. But there's no reason to count on people being confused.

Just assume that if you are sharing your own thoughts, people know that it's your opinion.